Frustrating

When I initially decided on surgery, I chose to tell certain people and some not to. Last night I went to a dinner and was a tad bit bothered. One cause I think people think that because I had surgery that I live an easy life , that my weight is just falling off with out trying. Let me correct that thought. Yes my weight comes off , however I work it off as well. And it is by no means in anyway EASY! I have to work my butt off and exercises, I don't get to enjoy the things and the food that many people get to enjoy. I don't have control over what I can eat and what I can't. I am forced to do these things. It is in no way the "easy way out" . I know that it can be discouraging for some and a little frustrating but, this was a decision that I made to gain Self control back into my life. I am very grateful and very pleased with my decision to have the surgery. I in no way regret it. It has been a tool that I have used to the full extent. I exercise and I am active. Could I have done this on my own with out surgery? Probably, but I was unmotivated and just plain lazy. Again I had lacked self control. Once I lost 20 pounds I wanted to get out there and exercises cause I knew it would pay off. There are a lot of Bari patients who gain there weight back cause they don't eat the same way and they go back to habits. I have changed my habits and that is what it is about. Making a lifestyle change and doing it for me and my health. Not cause I want to "look" good but cause I want to FEEL good. I again could never ever do this on my own. I rely on the strength of God and by His strength only. I have to ask everyday for strength not to eat the other stuff. LOL .

I tried to quickly change the conversation last night and not focus so much on me, then as I was eating I felt weird too, But I guess it comes with the territory right?? Now I know why Valeria always said to have other topics to talk about at functions. I told mike last night, quick lets think of things to talk about before we get back to the table cause I don't want to talk about my surgery all night long .. He just laughed and hugged me.. :)