7 years !!!

7 years!!

June 22, 2009 my life was changed forever. I was giving a new life, a new journey, a fresh start to a healthy life. That day forever changed me. It allowed me to experience things I thought were never going to be mine because of my weight restrictions. Something as little as getting on a roller coaster, or wrapping a towel around my body, crossing my legs and the best one ever being able to feel a life inside of me (3 actually). 119 lbs gone and a few gained from my little miracles , Although this journey is on going forever I am still so grateful God allowed me to experience this. I have had an amazing support system and continue to strive for my goals. Here is to 7 years post op! Happy 7 year Surgeiversary to me!!

Why oh why??

Why is it when I have a rough day I immediately want to eat? Why oh Why??

Yesterday was a crazy as can be day. It was one of those days where my three little bosses I work for were just pushing me so much I wanted to resign! JK But really it was rough!  Trying to balance a bariatric diet with kids is hard!  Trying to get exercise in cause having kids is not an excuse, trying to eat right and the right things. So I have been BOT and ran out of protein drinks lack of my bad planning, I didn't have one with me in the car, so  I am replacing with food, however I feel as though I sabotaged myself yesterday by entering a make your own pizza place that had cookies! So I ordered a small thin pizza and had 2 slices, they are fairly small and thin but I felt soon terrible. I had a salad and 2 small slices. The kids were crazy so we ate like in 5 min and left.  We got home and the drama just continued with my kids. Tiredness and whining came in and made me eat!! LOL

After kids went to bed it was me and the cookies alone! I thought about how I "deserve " them since my day was terrible!!  This is why I don't buy them and bring them home cause I eat them and they are bite size so its worse! Thank goodness that day is over.

Today I can do two things. I can chose to beat my self up over my self sabotage or I can keep on moving. My friend told me this morning, dust off and keep on moving! So I am!

Here's to a new week! Happy Friday!

I have Mental Issues!!! Food and me are mentally not connect

Yes friends  I have a mental issue when it comes to food! So , I have now been on the BOT for almost a week now. I had a few hick ups. One being restroom issues which I will save you the detail. I have that under control now thank goodness! Second is mentally wanting to eat even though I am full. So on this BOT I can have protein shakes all day and eat dinner at night which is fine, however, I have a emotional connection with food and snacks, therefore I want them all day!!  I have been doing pretty good but man is it hard! It was hard the first time and I knew it would be hard to get back on track this time around. I mean lets face it, they didn't do brain surgery my stomach was altered. Mentally I know I am not hungry but its funny how your brain plays tricks on you ! Mean time I ordered Believe Mocha Latte Protein shakes and wow I forgot how great these are! I am down 2 lbs and well I have 13 to go to be back at pre- baby weight!! I can do this I know I can !!



Food you will not win... I will and I am winning!! Here's to back on track!

I'm Back !! Only took me 5 years!!!

OMG!!! Where do I begin!! First off let me do a short version of my life in 5 years.... Big Breath and Go....

April of 2011 I had my son Josiah. He was an awesome baby . My weight loss from that point on was pretty quick . With Josiah I gained 40 lbs !! All I wanted to eat was meat, so when he was born my goal was to get the weight off. I nursed which helped a lot and well guess what... I got pregnant again 5 months later!! Miracle right?? Here we are from one extreme to the other.

In August of 2012 we met our beautiful baby girl Sophia. My pregnancy with her was much less weight. I learned the first time that I was only to eat enough to feed a little itty bitty baby not a grown person. With Sophia I gained 25 lbs.  Our lives got much much busier as we began to balance life. I lost the weight from Sophia however I still had 10 lbs on me heavier from my final total of weight loss.  I began to get in the groove of being a busy mom and trying to live a healthy diet and exercises.... Yeah right !!  Everything fell to the weigh side . I did not gain any weight however I was feeling the extra 10 lbs so I started hiking again, this time with Children in tow. Boy was that hard. It was going so well, well enough that well, I got pregnant again !

October of 2014 we welcomed our 2nd Daughter Analise. Oh boy life with 3 is so much fun!! I lost all of the weight except 5 lbs. I now have 5 lbs from each child sitting on me. Was it worth it?
YES it is!! You see when I had weight loss surgery in 2009 my goal was to be at this point. The point where I could run and jump in the trampoline with my kids. The point was I could run with them outside and up the stairs cause they want to race. So yes it was worth the weight gain. But now it is time to move on and get rid of that weight!

Which brings me to today May 4, 2016- Oh the struggle with food is just that a constant struggle. After being pregnant my body definitely developed a higher tolerance. That is bad... cause I can eat things I should not eat where I could not before. I need to get control back. So what I started doing is I researched around and found a plan that would help me reset my mind and pouch. It is part of the bariatric eating website. It is great!! I am pretty excited. Although most of my food through out this regain loss process will be protein shakes and a nice dinner I am pretty excited. Will it be hard? Yes but having surgery was hard. Will I have to move and exercise? YES that is always and should always be apart of you forever.  I know for sure my results with my weight loss was because I worked hard to get it off so here I am again back in the game and I am ready! Everyday I have committed to 30 min of jumping on the trampoline very intensely and well I can feel it that is for sure!

I have always said this and I still believe it. This journey is a privilege. I got a chance to regain my life back at 29 years old. I got an extension on life and I have 3 blessings to prove it. It is by my strength ? NO, but by HIS alone.. and well coffee. That is another story for another day.

Here is to the next 7 years of my healthy life!

Down to the Nitty Gritty Last days

So here I am up at 2 am cause I can't sleep as usual. I am so tired at this point of my pregnancy. It has been so long since I have written in here and I don't want to start off with complaining....

So here I am at 40 weeks pregnant! Wow what an amazing journey this has been. God has certainly taken Mike and I from one extreme to the next. Just yesterday I was driving in the car and I heard a song in my CD player that reminded me so much of when I miscarried last year. It brought  back so much heart ache but at the same time I was able to rejoice cause God carried me thru that. It is amazing how God can instantly turn things around. My heart does rejoice cause I know our miracle is almost here.  Since at the end I am so anxious to see and meet our little guy. I know he will be perfect no matter what he looks like. 

As of today I stand at 40 pounds gained! At first this was really hard for me and I do struggle with that number being so large, however,  I am healthy and Josiah is healthy and growing and that is all that matters. My blood pressure is still excellant and has not been effected at all by this pregnancy. I was a little worried about it at first cause of my history.  Once Josiah gets here it is back to the grind! I mean it, I have a plan in waiting and can't wait to get this weight off. I know it will take some time, but I am very eager to excersise again and to eat right. As of right now all I want is bad stuff. I don't know if it is pregnancy hormones, but my body can tolerate so much more sweets and food which scares me. Although again once he gets here I have a plan. I need to have a plan cause if I don't then I plan to fail. I am just praying and relying on God that He is with me and knows exactly what I need in my life.

I  am on the way to a new journey. A new journey of mother hood and a new eating journey. I know what God has been my strength in all this and I need to remember to keep Him as my strength. I can not and will never be able to do this on my own.  Lord you are my strength and I thank you for what you have brought me to and thru. Please help me to remember to look to you !

Oh how life is quickly changing !

So here I am 34 weeks pregnant and 30 lbs later, I am feeling at this point, excited and anxious! I can not express how greatful I am to God for this awesome experience that I am able to partake in. We are truly blessed and these past couple of weeks it has been shown. In the past two weeks, we have had two baby showers and so many gifts given to us, Josiah is set and ready to come.  The room is set up, the clothes are washed and put away, now all we need is a baby!! April 22nd is quickly approaching !

Today we hiked up the hill behind our house. It was beautiful to see all of the flowers growing. The weather was great and the breeze was just right. We wanted to do pictures there since we had spent alot of time there prior to the pregnancy. It was a little bit of a hike, but I made it and was very happy I did. Becky got some great shots of us and I am ever so greatful! Here are some of them !

Long Tiime !!

So it has been a while since I posted last.. Let us do some catch up.
Josiah is still growing well as so am I. I have kind of gave in to the crazy eating that this baby wants. I am 29weeks and 5 days and I am feeling great. My total weight gain so far is a scary 26 pounds!! It seems so much to me, but I would gain 50 just to be sure I have a healthy baby boy!  We have had a few 3D ultrasounds and the little guy is a stubborn one. He is always with his hands in front and his feet up. So we got a few good pictures but not very many. He does have my nose I must say. We can not wait to see him, I am so overjoyed when i think about what he will be like, where we were at this point last year and how far God has truly brought us. To feel this little miracle inside of me is amazing.  I am very blessed that God has given us this miracle. Mean time his room is being finished, it looks so amazing! He is going to be one spoiled kid:) Thank you for all the prayers and love. God is truly amazed us this past year.

Update on the Belly

Well here I am. I survived the holidays, however I think I ate too much. It is not that I am eating too much at a meal, but to much too often in my opinion. Anyways, I am now into my 6th month of my pregnancy. I am 25 weeks and I feel great. My total weight gain so far has just hit 20 lbs. I am weighing exactly what I weighed last christmas. How do I feel about it?? Well at first I was scared cause mentally this is hard to see the scale go up. However I know how to eat and I know that once Josiah is here and stops telling me to eat McDonalds every morning, then I will be fine!! LOL . It really blows my mind that I crave things I never had for over a year. I do have a plan when he arrives. The plan is to still try to get back on some kind of routine once I hit 6 weeks and I am cleared. As of right now, I have not been walking or anything. I was doing an excersise video, but with holidays here I kind of got distracted with Tamales in my fridge. But... I am on the go all day doing lots of things and I am not just sitting which helps. These last 3 months, I really do need to start walking again or the video to help me with labor, which by the way frightens me to death!! But I know that God has put this baby in my belly and that He is in control over it all. I need to just keep remembering that. Today as I turn 31 years old, I am not sad as usual. I used to get sad cause I saw every year slipping by and I saw it as getting old with no children. But low and behold, here we are at 31 years old ready to welcome this little miracle in our lives. I can not begin to express how over joyed I am today and this year. I think now that God knew exactly what I needed and when I needed it. Maybe as a 31 year old I have more patience for a baby , who knows. But what ever reason,  I truly know God timing is always on track, even if it is not in time with our own.
Michael, Josiah and I are all living and walking miracles.  I can't wait to tell him the story!

Be Blessed my friends . Wait on HIm cause His timing is everything.

Half Way There !! Yeay

Today I will go to bed and begin my next 20 weeks!! Yeay! I am half way thru my pregnancy. I feel the baby more and more every day and I am amazed. I started my video again and I feel good. I am still doing small weights as well cause I don't want my arms to be flabby. Today it kind of hit me that we will have a baby in our home in less than 5 months!! That is crazy and scary and exciting and well exciting!! I thank God every day when I feel that baby moving. I know this is from Him..

And the Weight is on

I know I carrying a child and I should not care about my weight, however I do.. So I have not really been walking or doing my video . Thanksgiving has come and gone and I was deathly afraid to get on the scale, but I did. I had to see where I was. I am now 5 months pregnant and I am weighing in at 164. I have gained a total of 14 pounds. I guess that is not too bad. My goal is was to not gain more than 25 total, however Josiah seems to wants meat and I can't say no :( If I keep eating the way I am eating I'm sure I may pass up my 25 lbs. I am not eating huge portions for my meals, cause I can't but I am eating very frequently. Every 3 hours I am eating something. It is hard cause I am really hungry. I try to carry something with me that will help me when I am "starving". I still feel great and my energy is now way up. I am not feeling as tired anymore. I am still moving but not daily as I was. Mike and I go for long walks to the mall or swap meet and walk for about 2 hours which is great exercise for me. The plan is to try to stay in some control so when baby gets here, I can go back to my routine. That is the plan, however I am aware it may take some time and adjusting to get there, but I know in time if I determined it will happen. Thank you Lord again for helping me stay in control.

Feeling the baby

I am 18 weeks today and I swear I feel the baby more and more now. I was not really sure until this afternoon. This morning I felt alot harder flutters and a few pokes, but nothing hard. The flutters always come hard when I eat, so after I ate this morning, I kinda knew it was him. So I just enjoyed. All day I seemed to be more aware of them. I had a schedule US to see the baby with Henry and Liv but they could not make it so I decided to go anyways. As the tech was doing the US, the baby kicked and I saw and felt it!! It was amazing!! I now know that I am not imagining it!! I am so excited for this little guy!! I am now waiting for Mike to be able to feel, soon I hope.

It's a Boy!!

Yup yup yup it's a Boy!! So today we got back from San Francisco, celebrating our 9th anniversary. We had our ultrasound today and got to see our little one. Last night I had a dream that they handed me the baby and the baby was wrapped in a blue blanket... So I told Mike that morning and Angie too and she said.. maybe it is a boy.. and  Well... the tech said here is one leg, here is two leg and here is the third leg!!! It's a Boy!! Mike lit up so much it was cute:) So yes I am excited for the arrival of my son ... wow that seems so awesome to say.  I am feeling great, no sickness and my energy is somewhat picking up. Our new due date is April 22nd. He is a little bigger than what we thought. It is so much more real now to know that there is a little baby boy inside of me . Yeay so excited to meet Josiah Michael Maestas. Can't come soon enough!!

Lord I am so so grateful for your mercy and your gift that you have blessed me with. Thank you

Moving Right along

Well my plan is still in tact. I have walked everyday and I am eating and snacking on things that I should be having. It has been tough though cause I want so many bad things. I have had a really busy weekend with parties, and halloween and I seem to forget that I am pregnant and that I need to take it easy. So Monday I did just that, I did nothing all day and it felt great. Last week I bought a baby doppler. It is a device you can hear that babys heart beat at any time. I know this pregnancy is in Gods hands, but God knows my heart and my fears. At anytime at all I can hear the baby if I want to. So far I used it a few times. It makes it hard cause I still have no symptoms and until I get a growing belly, this device will do. I heard the baby this morning and wow is it music to my ears :) It makes me so greatful for this miracle and for God's promise to me.

Get it Under Control Jess !!

Okay so I posted a month ago that I was pregnant. Yeay!! I am now 15 weeks pregnant and baby is doing well. We have since heard the heartbeat and seen the baby. I am still overwhelmed with amazement at times at the miracle that God has placed in my belly. Meantime... I have lost all sense of CONTROL!!
Let me explain... Since I had Gastric bypass , I changed lots of habits. No soda, sweets, red meat or fast food whatsoever.. Well, since pregnant... All i want is soda, sweets and fast food and red meat!! I can't understand why my body is is "need" of these things. It would not be such an issue if I had a bit of control, but I seem to have lost that as well. I understand that being pregnant I need to take in a certain amount of calories, and I understand that it needs to be good calories. Don't get me wrong, I am still eating small portions, but I am eating more frequently and snacking on things that I do not need! I am once again buying items too that I should not be eating. Back when I was 9 weeks prego, the doc put me off of exercise cause I was spotting. Since then I no longer have spotting and am now able to exercise again. Boy was it tough! Last night after talking with Michael, I set my mind to get a routine established again and to find my self. So this morning I was determined to get a routine down again. I got up with Mike and ate a small begal. Then I had a egg and 2 pieces of toast and I headed out for a 2 mile walk. It took some pushing, but I did it and I felt great. I don't want to push it too much and I want to work my way up to a maybe 4 miles or so. Then after I got back I crashed! I was sooo tired I could not stay awake. I then woke up hungry of course and ate a nice healthy sandwich and then had an apple for a snack. I am gonna try really hard this week to stay on a routine. Since I am home now, it seems to be a little harder cause the fridge is right here. I just need to remember to stay focused on my goal for a healthy pregnancy and a healthy me. I want to be able to go back to my old routine of diet and exercise and get the baby weight off. As of right now, I have gained a total of 8 lbs! That is a little hard to see but I accept it and I okay with it. I am so grateful for what God is doing in my life. I sit back in amazement sometimes and think about what he has done in our lives. This little miracle is for His Glory and to Glorify HIM only and if I am a tool, so be it :)

Blessings,
Jess

You Make all Things NEW!!

Okay my friends, so much has happened in the past month that I could not share until now. So here it goes!  August 12th we found out we are pregnant again!! We are so over whelmed with JOY!!  We had to wait until my first doc appt which was scheduled September 17th, so if you can imagine the craziness going thru my mind!! During that month I tried to stay on top of my exercises, I stopped running but I was still walking up to 5 miles a day! My hunger is sooo uncontrollable. I feel like I am a bottomless pit. Mentally I am letting my body tell me when to eat and what to eat.
Let me tell you , I am still not able to eat more than a cup at a time, but I can eat every 2- 3 hours and I am!  I am trying to stick to things I can have, fruit and of course sugar free stuff, along with Bean and cheese burritos which I can't get enough of.  I know what my body can eat and what it can not! I'm not used to eating this much. Usually before if I was hungry I would ignore and wait till my next meal, this I can not ignore, it literally burns and I need to eat ! I am so grateful though, I have no morning sickness what so ever! Which can be a bad thing for a bari patient, because we can not eat too much at once so if we are sick the baby does not get what they need. Praise God that I am not sick and can eat!! No morning sickness also scared me cause I had no symptoms of a baby inside of me...

Finally my appt date got here September 17th and guess what??? They cancelled it cause the doc was out!!! Oh MY GOSH!!! I lost it!! As it is I am an emotional hormonal wreck and stress case cause I was scared the same thing was gonna happen and baby stop growing like last time... So they scheduled it for Monday the 20th!! A WHOLE WEEKEND  OF INSANITY!!! Saturday came and I had spotting!! More to freak out about. I kept praying Lord, not again... Please not again! I felt like I was on a roller coaster I did not want to be on.. Called the doc and they said normal to just rest and not to over do it till my appt. That night I prayed the hardest prayer I could ever, LORD YOUR WILL NOT MINE!!! Do you know how hard that is to pray for when your hearts desire in right in front of you and you have no control???? HARD!!!

But I had to realize (after Mike and my friends talked me down the ledge), that I am not in control. Why would I want anything else but God's will??  So Monday finally came and my goodness was I anxious... My blood pressure was soooo high! I was telling the nurse to please wait till after to take it and she said ok.. Doc came in after like 30 min or at least that is how I felt... He did his check and then the ultra sound... He told Mike, come  here look at this... then I opened my eyes.. LOL .... Praise God there is a baby in there and I am not crazy!!! Tears, tears and more TEARS!!! I was sooo over joyed to see that baby in there and the strong, strong heart beat!! 176 beats!!! The doctor said there is the baby and he said lets see if we can make the baby move, and the baby Moved!!!! OMGosh it was amazing!!!!!

FIRST PICTURE OF OUR MIRACLE!! 

So here is what I have learned... Patience, God's timing not mine and peace!! I feel great and I am still praying Lord your will not mine...

Lord, I am so overwhelmed with amazement of your hands. You are truly an amazing God and know all things. Thank you for your miracle in our lives. Thank you for fulfilling your promise. This baby is truly your miracle. This baby is yours God and not mine. Thank you for your heart . Praise to you only God, and thank you , thank you for your promise!!  You make all things New Lord, Thank you for moving me forward into a new path. I will follow you forward!

Blessings my friends,
Jess

Weight update

Our crazy schedule has kind of slowed down, so we are back on track. I will be cooking all week and I am so glad to kind of go back to normal.  
Here is where I am today. I am still weighing in at 148 lbs . My goal is to be at 135 and I feel like it is taking FOREVER to get there. I need to increase my running schedule I think and I need to stop snacking on cookies that Daniel keeps bringing home and are calling my name !! So, I am going to step up my game this week and run 4 times this week. I am determined to lose these final pounds. I also need to start training for the marathon. Yes I will be running the LA marathon in March. I know that is so far away, but it will be here sooner then we know it! My goal this month is to really be at 6 miles in running. I know for sure I can do 4.5 cause I have done it, so there are No excuses. So Lord I ask right now, for your strength and encouragement to help me get to my goal. Help me stay focused and help me to not be tempted anymore by the cookies that are calling my name even as I am writing this!! Thank you God for your hands in this. My life and this journey would not ever be possible with out you in it!! I am beyond blessed more than I can ever imagine. You are my rock and my strength, in you all things are possible! All things!!

CARBS GET BEHIND ME!!

Why on earth am I craving CARBS!!! I feel like I want them all the time!!  Lord please help me . Remind me of my self control. I need your strength this week. I feel like the devil is literally attacking me with food.. is that possible??? LOL  REally I feel like that!! Oh well, you ain't gonna win devil, so stop trying, your wasting your time. The Lord is my strength in ALL THINGS!! So there :)

Continued Grace

Today  a friend of mine got married and as I talked with her I realized and was reminded that my God can changed any situation around. He is still the God of miracles as he was in Moses day. HE is still the same God that parted the Red sea. I know sometimes we think that our situations will never change or that the one person you are praying for will never ever see the light. At that time in our lives we have a hard time seeing the sun at the end of the storm. But know this.. When God brings the rain, know there will always be a rainbow at the end. Today I saw that Rainbow as she walked down the isle. I still don't believe all the stories I heard... wink... wink.. but.. I have to believe them in order to See the Miracle on the other side.

I was reminded that Gods Grace is never ending , and that He still does miracles. I know my miracle is coming. I need to stand firm on it and wait. Until then I refuse to let the enemy whisper in my ear, I refuse to give in to his ugly lies. I know my God is a God that full-fills his promises and He does not lie :)

So  my friends, today be encouraged and rely on HIM for all things. Blessings

Back on the Wagon

Why did it feel like my three mile run took forever to complete!!! As I got up this morning, I thought ... I could skip this run and run later. Then I thought, no.. this is how you gained all the weight in the first place, you have to run or do something. I have been soooooo busy this past two weeks that my priorities have been rearranged. Eating out and not running. Yes I am still making good choices, but eating out is not a habit we want to develop again. I ran today anyways and it always feels good after. I feel like I completed something. Not to mention I get to worship as I run.. I know not many of you can work out to " Glorify" or to a slow worship tune, but I CAN!! I love it. It is my time with God, my time to watch everything around me. My time to enjoy his creation and pray and thank Him that I am able to run. So yes I am back on the wagon, I just fell off for two weeks :) I didn't hit my head though!!

Thank you Lord again for your strength, I can not thank you or express again how thankful I am for your mercy, and grace. You truly are a God of second chances and I have experienced that on numerous occasions. Be encouraged my friends:)

VBS 2010

We just ended a huge Vacation Bible School at our church. We had 165 kids on one night. That was amazing!! Worship was awesome and so were the volunteers. I am so privileged to be part of a church that has a heart of serving. It seems like our whole congregation came together and just helped out. God is doing so much. I am blessed beyond words. The tiredness is all worth it in the end. It is so weird how although my body is physically tired, my spirit wants more. I am sooo excited to see how many children come back and visit Friendstown. If we only reached 1 child, it is all worth it.

Thank you Lord for your strength , you are my hands and feet and I am grateful :)