The Wonderful World of Jess

Down to the Nitty Gritty Last days

2011-04-20T02:24:00.000-07:00

So here I am up at 2 am cause I can't sleep as usual. I am so tired at this point of my pregnancy. It has been so long since I have written in here and I don't want to start off with complaining....

So here I am at 40 weeks pregnant! Wow what an amazing journey this has been. God has certainly taken Mike and I from one extreme to the next. Just yesterday I was driving in the car and I heard a song in my CD player that reminded me so much of when I miscarried last year. It brought back so much heart ache but at the same time I was able to rejoice cause God carried me thru that. It is amazing how God can instantly turn things around. My heart does rejoice cause I know our miracle is almost here. Since at the end I am so anxious to see and meet our little guy. I know he will be perfect no matter what he looks like.

As of today I stand at 40 pounds gained! At first this was really hard for me and I do struggle with that number being so large, however, I am healthy and Josiah is healthy and growing and that is all that matters. My blood pressure is still excellant and has not been effected at all by this pregnancy. I was a little worried about it at first cause of my history. Once Josiah gets here it is back to the grind! I mean it, I have a plan in waiting and can't wait to get this weight off. I know it will take some time, but I am very eager to excersise again and to eat right. As of right now all I want is bad stuff. I don't know if it is pregnancy hormones, but my body can tolerate so much more sweets and food which scares me. Although again once he gets here I have a plan. I need to have a plan cause if I don't then I plan to fail. I am just praying and relying on God that He is with me and knows exactly what I need in my life.

I am on the way to a new journey. A new journey of mother hood and a new eating journey. I know what God has been my strength in all this and I need to remember to keep Him as my strength. I can not and will never be able to do this on my own. Lord you are my strength and I thank you for what you have brought me to and thru. Please help me to remember to look to you !

Oh how life is quickly changing !

2011-03-14T03:10:00.000-07:00

So here I am 34 weeks pregnant and 30 lbs later, I am feeling at this point, excited and anxious! I can not express how greatful I am to God for this awesome experience that I am able to partake in. We are truly blessed and these past couple of weeks it has been shown. In the past two weeks, we have had two baby showers and so many gifts given to us, Josiah is set and ready to come. The room is set up, the clothes are washed and put away, now all we need is a baby!! April 22nd is quickly approaching !

Today we hiked up the hill behind our house. It was beautiful to see all of the flowers growing. The weather was great and the breeze was just right. We wanted to do pictures there since we had spent alot of time there prior to the pregnancy. It was a little bit of a hike, but I made it and was very happy I did. Becky got some great shots of us and I am ever so greatful! Here are some of them !

Long Tiime !!

2011-02-08T06:45:00.000-08:00

So it has been a while since I posted last.. Let us do some catch up.
Josiah is still growing well as so am I. I have kind of gave in to the crazy eating that this baby wants. I am 29weeks and 5 days and I am feeling great. My total weight gain so far is a scary 26 pounds!! It seems so much to me, but I would gain 50 just to be sure I have a healthy baby boy! We have had a few 3D ultrasounds and the little guy is a stubborn one. He is always with his hands in front and his feet up. So we got a few good pictures but not very many. He does have my nose I must say. We can not wait to see him, I am so overjoyed when i think about what he will be like, where we were at this point last year and how far God has truly brought us. To feel this little miracle inside of me is amazing. I am very blessed that God has given us this miracle. Mean time his room is being finished, it looks so amazing! He is going to be one spoiled kid:) Thank you for all the prayers and love. God is truly amazed us this past year.

Update on the Belly

2011-01-06T06:51:00.000-08:00

Well here I am. I survived the holidays, however I think I ate too much. It is not that I am eating too much at a meal, but to much too often in my opinion. Anyways, I am now into my 6th month of my pregnancy. I am 25 weeks and I feel great. My total weight gain so far has just hit 20 lbs. I am weighing exactly what I weighed last christmas. How do I feel about it?? Well at first I was scared cause mentally this is hard to see the scale go up. However I know how to eat and I know that once Josiah is here and stops telling me to eat McDonalds every morning, then I will be fine!! LOL . It really blows my mind that I crave things I never had for over a year. I do have a plan when he arrives. The plan is to still try to get back on some kind of routine once I hit 6 weeks and I am cleared. As of right now, I have not been walking or anything. I was doing an excersise video, but with holidays here I kind of got distracted with Tamales in my fridge. But... I am on the go all day doing lots of things and I am not just sitting which helps. These last 3 months, I really do need to start walking again or the video to help me with labor, which by the way frightens me to death!! But I know that God has put this baby in my belly and that He is in control over it all. I need to just keep remembering that. Today as I turn 31 years old, I am not sad as usual. I used to get sad cause I saw every year slipping by and I saw it as getting old with no children. But low and behold, here we are at 31 years old ready to welcome this little miracle in our lives. I can not begin to express how over joyed I am today and this year. I think now that God knew exactly what I needed and when I needed it. Maybe as a 31 year old I have more patience for a baby , who knows. But what ever reason, I truly know God timing is always on track, even if it is not in time with our own.
Michael, Josiah and I are all living and walking miracles. I can't wait to tell him the story!

Be Blessed my friends . Wait on HIm cause His timing is everything.

Half Way There !! Yeay

2010-12-02T22:19:00.000-08:00

Today I will go to bed and begin my next 20 weeks!! Yeay! I am half way thru my pregnancy. I feel the baby more and more every day and I am amazed. I started my video again and I feel good. I am still doing small weights as well cause I don't want my arms to be flabby. Today it kind of hit me that we will have a baby in our home in less than 5 months!! That is crazy and scary and exciting and well exciting!! I thank God every day when I feel that baby moving. I know this is from Him..

And the Weight is on

2010-11-30T06:12:00.000-08:00

I know I carrying a child and I should not care about my weight, however I do.. So I have not really been walking or doing my video . Thanksgiving has come and gone and I was deathly afraid to get on the scale, but I did. I had to see where I was. I am now 5 months pregnant and I am weighing in at 164. I have gained a total of 14 pounds. I guess that is not too bad. My goal is was to not gain more than 25 total, however Josiah seems to wants meat and I can't say no :( If I keep eating the way I am eating I'm sure I may pass up my 25 lbs. I am not eating huge portions for my meals, cause I can't but I am eating very frequently. Every 3 hours I am eating something. It is hard cause I am really hungry. I try to carry something with me that will help me when I am "starving". I still feel great and my energy is now way up. I am not feeling as tired anymore. I am still moving but not daily as I was. Mike and I go for long walks to the mall or swap meet and walk for about 2 hours which is great exercise for me. The plan is to try to stay in some control so when baby gets here, I can go back to my routine. That is the plan, however I am aware it may take some time and adjusting to get there, but I know in time if I determined it will happen. Thank you Lord again for helping me stay in control.

Feeling the baby

2010-11-22T18:02:00.000-08:00

I am 18 weeks today and I swear I feel the baby more and more now. I was not really sure until this afternoon. This morning I felt alot harder flutters and a few pokes, but nothing hard. The flutters always come hard when I eat, so after I ate this morning, I kinda knew it was him. So I just enjoyed. All day I seemed to be more aware of them. I had a schedule US to see the baby with Henry and Liv but they could not make it so I decided to go anyways. As the tech was doing the US, the baby kicked and I saw and felt it!! It was amazing!! I now know that I am not imagining it!! I am so excited for this little guy!! I am now waiting for Mike to be able to feel, soon I hope.

It's a Boy!!

2010-11-15T17:56:00.000-08:00

Yup yup yup it's a Boy!! So today we got back from San Francisco, celebrating our 9th anniversary. We had our ultrasound today and got to see our little one. Last night I had a dream that they handed me the baby and the baby was wrapped in a blue blanket... So I told Mike that morning and Angie too and she said.. maybe it is a boy.. and Well... the tech said here is one leg, here is two leg and here is the third leg!!! It's a Boy!! Mike lit up so much it was cute:) So yes I am excited for the arrival of my son ... wow that seems so awesome to say. I am feeling great, no sickness and my energy is somewhat picking up. Our new due date is April 22nd. He is a little bigger than what we thought. It is so much more real now to know that there is a little baby boy inside of me . Yeay so excited to meet Josiah Michael Maestas. Can't come soon enough!!

Lord I am so so grateful for your mercy and your gift that you have blessed me with. Thank you

Moving Right along

2010-11-02T13:38:00.000-07:00

Well my plan is still in tact. I have walked everyday and I am eating and snacking on things that I should be having. It has been tough though cause I want so many bad things. I have had a really busy weekend with parties, and halloween and I seem to forget that I am pregnant and that I need to take it easy. So Monday I did just that, I did nothing all day and it felt great. Last week I bought a baby doppler. It is a device you can hear that babys heart beat at any time. I know this pregnancy is in Gods hands, but God knows my heart and my fears. At anytime at all I can hear the baby if I want to. So far I used it a few times. It makes it hard cause I still have no symptoms and until I get a growing belly, this device will do. I heard the baby this morning and wow is it music to my ears :) It makes me so greatful for this miracle and for God's promise to me.

Get it Under Control Jess !!

2010-10-28T13:25:00.000-07:00

Okay so I posted a month ago that I was pregnant. Yeay!! I am now 15 weeks pregnant and baby is doing well. We have since heard the heartbeat and seen the baby. I am still overwhelmed with amazement at times at the miracle that God has placed in my belly. Meantime... I have lost all sense of CONTROL!!
Let me explain... Since I had Gastric bypass , I changed lots of habits. No soda, sweets, red meat or fast food whatsoever.. Well, since pregnant... All i want is soda, sweets and fast food and red meat!! I can't understand why my body is is "need" of these things. It would not be such an issue if I had a bit of control, but I seem to have lost that as well. I understand that being pregnant I need to take in a certain amount of calories, and I understand that it needs to be good calories. Don't get me wrong, I am still eating small portions, but I am eating more frequently and snacking on things that I do not need! I am once again buying items too that I should not be eating. Back when I was 9 weeks prego, the doc put me off of exercise cause I was spotting. Since then I no longer have spotting and am now able to exercise again. Boy was it tough! Last night after talking with Michael, I set my mind to get a routine established again and to find my self. So this morning I was determined to get a routine down again. I got up with Mike and ate a small begal. Then I had a egg and 2 pieces of toast and I headed out for a 2 mile walk. It took some pushing, but I did it and I felt great. I don't want to push it too much and I want to work my way up to a maybe 4 miles or so. Then after I got back I crashed! I was sooo tired I could not stay awake. I then woke up hungry of course and ate a nice healthy sandwich and then had an apple for a snack. I am gonna try really hard this week to stay on a routine. Since I am home now, it seems to be a little harder cause the fridge is right here. I just need to remember to stay focused on my goal for a healthy pregnancy and a healthy me. I want to be able to go back to my old routine of diet and exercise and get the baby weight off. As of right now, I have gained a total of 8 lbs! That is a little hard to see but I accept it and I okay with it. I am so grateful for what God is doing in my life. I sit back in amazement sometimes and think about what he has done in our lives. This little miracle is for His Glory and to Glorify HIM only and if I am a tool, so be it :)

Blessings,
Jess

You Make all Things NEW!!

2010-09-21T10:44:00.000-07:00

Okay my friends, so much has happened in the past month that I could not share until now. So here it goes! August 12th we found out we are pregnant again!! We are so over whelmed with JOY!! We had to wait until my first doc appt which was scheduled September 17th, so if you can imagine the craziness going thru my mind!! During that month I tried to stay on top of my exercises, I stopped running but I was still walking up to 5 miles a day! My hunger is sooo uncontrollable. I feel like I am a bottomless pit. Mentally I am letting my body tell me when to eat and what to eat.
Let me tell you , I am still not able to eat more than a cup at a time, but I can eat every 2- 3 hours and I am! I am trying to stick to things I can have, fruit and of course sugar free stuff, along with Bean and cheese burritos which I can't get enough of. I know what my body can eat and what it can not! I'm not used to eating this much. Usually before if I was hungry I would ignore and wait till my next meal, this I can not ignore, it literally burns and I need to eat ! I am so grateful though, I have no morning sickness what so ever! Which can be a bad thing for a bari patient, because we can not eat too much at once so if we are sick the baby does not get what they need. Praise God that I am not sick and can eat!! No morning sickness also scared me cause I had no symptoms of a baby inside of me...

Finally my appt date got here September 17th and guess what??? They cancelled it cause the doc was out!!! Oh MY GOSH!!! I lost it!! As it is I am an emotional hormonal wreck and stress case cause I was scared the same thing was gonna happen and baby stop growing like last time... So they scheduled it for Monday the 20th!! A WHOLE WEEKEND OF INSANITY!!! Saturday came and I had spotting!! More to freak out about. I kept praying Lord, not again... Please not again! I felt like I was on a roller coaster I did not want to be on.. Called the doc and they said normal to just rest and not to over do it till my appt. That night I prayed the hardest prayer I could ever, LORD YOUR WILL NOT MINE!!! Do you know how hard that is to pray for when your hearts desire in right in front of you and you have no control???? HARD!!!

But I had to realize (after Mike and my friends talked me down the ledge), that I am not in control. Why would I want anything else but God's will?? So Monday finally came and my goodness was I anxious... My blood pressure was soooo high! I was telling the nurse to please wait till after to take it and she said ok.. Doc came in after like 30 min or at least that is how I felt... He did his check and then the ultra sound... He told Mike, come here look at this... then I opened my eyes.. LOL .... Praise God there is a baby in there and I am not crazy!!! Tears, tears and more TEARS!!! I was sooo over joyed to see that baby in there and the strong, strong heart beat!! 176 beats!!! The doctor said there is the baby and he said lets see if we can make the baby move, and the baby Moved!!!! OMGosh it was amazing!!!!!

FIRST PICTURE OF OUR MIRACLE!!

So here is what I have learned... Patience, God's timing not mine and peace!! I feel great and I am still praying Lord your will not mine...

Lord, I am so overwhelmed with amazement of your hands. You are truly an amazing God and know all things. Thank you for your miracle in our lives. Thank you for fulfilling your promise. This baby is truly your miracle. This baby is yours God and not mine. Thank you for your heart . Praise to you only God, and thank you , thank you for your promise!! You make all things New Lord, Thank you for moving me forward into a new path. I will follow you forward!

Blessings my friends,
Jess

Weight update

2010-08-08T22:21:00.001-07:00

Our crazy schedule has kind of slowed down, so we are back on track. I will be cooking all week and I am so glad to kind of go back to normal.
Here is where I am today. I am still weighing in at 148 lbs . My goal is to be at 135 and I feel like it is taking FOREVER to get there. I need to increase my running schedule I think and I need to stop snacking on cookies that Daniel keeps bringing home and are calling my name !! So, I am going to step up my game this week and run 4 times this week. I am determined to lose these final pounds. I also need to start training for the marathon. Yes I will be running the LA marathon in March. I know that is so far away, but it will be here sooner then we know it! My goal this month is to really be at 6 miles in running. I know for sure I can do 4.5 cause I have done it, so there are No excuses. So Lord I ask right now, for your strength and encouragement to help me get to my goal. Help me stay focused and help me to not be tempted anymore by the cookies that are calling my name even as I am writing this!! Thank you God for your hands in this. My life and this journey would not ever be possible with out you in it!! I am beyond blessed more than I can ever imagine. You are my rock and my strength, in you all things are possible! All things!!

CARBS GET BEHIND ME!!

2010-08-02T22:17:00.000-07:00

Why on earth am I craving CARBS!!! I feel like I want them all the time!! Lord please help me . Remind me of my self control. I need your strength this week. I feel like the devil is literally attacking me with food.. is that possible??? LOL REally I feel like that!! Oh well, you ain't gonna win devil, so stop trying, your wasting your time. The Lord is my strength in ALL THINGS!! So there :)

Continued Grace

2010-07-31T23:09:00.000-07:00

Today a friend of mine got married and as I talked with her I realized and was reminded that my God can changed any situation around. He is still the God of miracles as he was in Moses day. HE is still the same God that parted the Red sea. I know sometimes we think that our situations will never change or that the one person you are praying for will never ever see the light. At that time in our lives we have a hard time seeing the sun at the end of the storm. But know this.. When God brings the rain, know there will always be a rainbow at the end. Today I saw that Rainbow as she walked down the isle. I still don't believe all the stories I heard... wink... wink.. but.. I have to believe them in order to See the Miracle on the other side.

I was reminded that Gods Grace is never ending , and that He still does miracles. I know my miracle is coming. I need to stand firm on it and wait. Until then I refuse to let the enemy whisper in my ear, I refuse to give in to his ugly lies. I know my God is a God that full-fills his promises and He does not lie :)

So my friends, today be encouraged and rely on HIM for all things. Blessings

Back on the Wagon

2010-07-26T22:01:00.000-07:00

Why did it feel like my three mile run took forever to complete!!! As I got up this morning, I thought ... I could skip this run and run later. Then I thought, no.. this is how you gained all the weight in the first place, you have to run or do something. I have been soooooo busy this past two weeks that my priorities have been rearranged. Eating out and not running. Yes I am still making good choices, but eating out is not a habit we want to develop again. I ran today anyways and it always feels good after. I feel like I completed something. Not to mention I get to worship as I run.. I know not many of you can work out to " Glorify" or to a slow worship tune, but I CAN!! I love it. It is my time with God, my time to watch everything around me. My time to enjoy his creation and pray and thank Him that I am able to run. So yes I am back on the wagon, I just fell off for two weeks :) I didn't hit my head though!!

Thank you Lord again for your strength, I can not thank you or express again how thankful I am for your mercy, and grace. You truly are a God of second chances and I have experienced that on numerous occasions. Be encouraged my friends:)

VBS 2010

2010-07-23T21:56:00.000-07:00

We just ended a huge Vacation Bible School at our church. We had 165 kids on one night. That was amazing!! Worship was awesome and so were the volunteers. I am so privileged to be part of a church that has a heart of serving. It seems like our whole congregation came together and just helped out. God is doing so much. I am blessed beyond words. The tiredness is all worth it in the end. It is so weird how although my body is physically tired, my spirit wants more. I am sooo excited to see how many children come back and visit Friendstown. If we only reached 1 child, it is all worth it.

Thank you Lord for your strength , you are my hands and feet and I am grateful :)

Busy Bee

2010-07-20T13:04:00.000-07:00

Wow it has been a while. Lots of stuff going on...
First off... I am still doing good!! I am still losing weight but at a very very slow pace. I have reached 111lbs down! I still can't believe how fast time has gone by. These past couple of weeks, months have been crazy. God is doing lots of things in our lives and I am amazed by His glory every step of the way. God is bringing new things our way and we are excited. One of the things is Children's Ministry. We have been passed the torch of Children Ministry. You see I have been praying for a baby and a miracle , and God sent us 100 babies thru children's church!! We are excited. I look was back at this year and we have so much to be grateful for. Yes my heart still longs to be a mother, and I know God knows that and I know my miracle is coming in some way , shape or form. I just need to remember to rely on Him and remember what my promise is. I know now for sure when I miscarried that God was in control and he is still controlling the situation. Lots of new things coming up in the future and Only He controls that.
As for exercise, I am doing my hardest to stay up on it. We have been so busy with VBS these past weeks that I have been slacking and I need to remember to watch what I eat!! I am still staying in control and I am still maintaining what goes in my mouth. That is the key, I control what goes in my mouth! This week I will be sneaking in a run or two! I really do miss it!!

Remember My friends to stay encouraged. My God has big plans for us, we just need to sit still and wait on HIM.. Blessings
Jess

ONE YEAR TODAY!!

2010-06-22T21:17:00.000-07:00

Today !!

Today is my one year Surgiversary!! Yeah !! One year ago today I under went Gastric Bypass!! I made it.. I survived not eating meat, no sugar, no soda, no grease, the awful protein drinks, the massive hair loss and I survived the lack of clothes cause I shrank to fast.. I am now settled into a size 10 and weighing in at 149 lbs!! I still have 14 pounds I am trying my hardest to work off. But I think of how far I have come and I am happy! If I look back now and think of what I went thru this past year and how far I have come I am overwhelmed. This year has been the best year of my new life. I am more happier now that I am much healthier. Today Becky took some pictures of me. Before I had surgery she wrapped me up in tape and cut it off of me to make a mold of my body. I tried that on today and WOW!! IT is sooo big.. My nieces were playing in it too. They put on my old pants and the suit and walked around in it together, both of them !! I am so thankful to my husband for all the support. He is the best support group.

Thank you Lord that you let me come this far.. I know this is only the beggining and I pray that I remember to rely on you when the hard times come rolling. Thank you for a successful year!!

Changing it up

2010-06-17T08:12:00.001-07:00

Well Today I changed it up. I got up and rode my bike.. I love the feel of the wind and the motivation and especially my time with God. It always feels like it is just me and him on the rode.. no one else. So glad I am active. Feels good !

Hanging on

2010-06-17T00:26:00.000-07:00

Tonight I have gone back and read the beginning of my journey. As I sit here with Tears, tears of both Joy and sadness. I am simply reminded of this. God is on my side, thru all of my pain and suffering and joy and gladness, He remains the same. The same Faithful God who will one day full fill his promises, The same God who has not and will never leave me thru good and bad. I am so Thankful to have a God like that on my side. I am so blessed more than words can say. My heart is over joyed with what is to come in my future. I thank HIM everyday for this new life and new chance I was given. My joy and Strength only comes from Him.. I am reminded of one of my favorite songs..
"For if it had not been for you standing on my side, where would I be. If not for your goodness, if not for your grace, I don't know where I would be today. If not for your favor I never could say, I'm still standing. If not for your mercy if not for you love, I most likely would have given up, If not for your favor I never could say, I'm still standing, BUT BY THE GRACE OF GOD".

IN YOUR FACE DEVIL.. I'M STILL STANDING AND WON'T GIVE UP!!
Blessing my friends.. Remember His promises are true and are coming !!

Still trucking

2010-06-16T17:28:00.000-07:00

SO I have finally hit the 140's I am now weighing in at 149. I have bumped up my running schedule, but I fear that I am snacking to much. I have had a crazy schedule these past weeks and I need to remember that no matter how crazy, I am still in control. I am approaching my one year on June 22nd. I am excited and I look at my self now and think.. WHOA!! My goal is 14 more pounds and I am on my way to it. Back on Track,We are now running 5 miles 3-4 times a week. I am also working on my arms and crunches. I bought an excersise ball and it is fun and it works!!

Today I was running with Charlie who by the way could not do the full 4 miles cause he pooped out on me at mile 2, I got to the point where I did not want to go anymore. I literally looked at the road in front of me which was curved with hills and the second side walk across the street was straight. So I had to decide. Here I am lugging a 95 lb dog and trying to make my way back home. Well I chose the path of winding road but crossed the street mid way cause my mind was telling me that it was too hard... I mean come on really?? I was a little disapointed in myself that I would allow my mind to take over. But I have learned that mind plays a big, big part in everything. Here is where I started to pray... God help me get thru this. Sooo, I made it 4 miles later and I proud of my self. Tomorrow I shall go for 4 again but a new route, I don't like that one.. Hang in there my friends, it gets easier I am told..
Thank you Lord for this gift of running and the gift of appreciation of life, I know it comes from you only...
Blessings my friends !

MY baby brother is grown :(

2010-06-11T19:35:00.000-07:00

Well today we celebrated my brothers graduation from High School!! I am so sad.. It was just 12 years ago that I was walking him to kindergarten. My little papa boy!! I love him. We proud of you James. I pray you continue to let God lead and guide you. Had a fun filled weekend at my moms..

15 more pounds to reach my goal!

2010-05-20T12:14:00.000-07:00

New Goal is to weigh 135. I have 15 pounds to lose. So I am stepping up my game. More excerise everyday. I gonna rotate my running scheudule so since I did 4 miles yesterday and 2 miles today I gonna do 4 miles again on Friday. Then on Monday I will try 4 or 5 and then Tuesday I will do 2 or 3 then I will build that way and work up to 6 or 7 by the end of June !! Half marathon in September!! If I can do 9 miles than i know I can do 12!! Pray for me :)

4 MILES!!

2010-05-19T22:17:00.000-07:00

All I can say is WOW !!! I never in a million years, or even ever would have thought that I would become a runner. Today I ran 4 miles NON Stop!!! I was so overwhelmed with Joy, peace, joy and joy again!! At first when I started running I could do a mile non stop which was a lot for me but Mike and I did it together. Then I told the Garrisons that one of my goals was to do the marathon next year and so the training was on. Angie has come over and we are running 2 miles. Today I went for my run to do 2 miles. My mind set was to do 2 miles and get thru that. As I was coming around the bend, I had a song on and I thought to myself ... " Self, you can just keep running till the song ends." So I did, then I got to the end of the street and said " self, you can run till the end of the next street cause it is down hill", then as soon as I knew it I was coming up on the half way to the 4 miles, so I kept going. As I was coming to Stater Bros which is about 1/4 mile to the 4 miles, I was just pushing to not stop.. I kept praying and singing praise songs that were on my ipod and pushing to get thru to the end of the street which would complete my 4 miles!!! I was so overwhelmed!! Wow I actually did 4 miles of non stop running! When I stopped I had to walk cause my legs were burning and I wanted to catch my breath cause I did not want to pass out in front of the car waiting for me to cross the street . As I walked home the rest of the way I was just thanking God for this miracle in my life. The miracle of a new life, the joy that comes with it . The changes in my life have been a little tough but my God has made it so much easier for me. Yes, it was challenging and mental to keep my feet moving and to reach my goal, but I did not stop. I pressed on and kept saying , Lord help me thru, help me push thru cause it is by your strength only. ... And He did!!

So now my new goal is to be at 6 miles by the end of June. When I finished running I thought I could actually probably keep going but I did not want to kill my body . The rest of the day I was on a high that I can not explain. A high on my accomplishment, a high on the fact that I reached my goal early and that I now have a new one. A high that I can actually run!! Run and not be tired!! As the song that I was listening to at the home stretch was saying... " All things are possible for you, all Things are possible, nothings to difficult for you. I 'm ready for change, ready for rain, ready for favor, I know your Able.. to Turn it around" And that is what He has done, he has turned my life around and given me strength that I never thought I could have. I am truly blessed for this miracle of Life God has given me. I feel like a teenager again:) So with that said..... Go for your goals, even if they are small. They are small now but that is where you have to start. My goal was to run a mile and I hit that, then 2 and so on... My next goal is a 12 mile marathon in September... if I can do that, I can do 26 !!

oh yeah .. my body is feeling ... well sore!!! LOL/.. I know it will not be thanking me in the morning , but I shall press on and do 2 miles tomorrow, then if I can walk on Friday, I will do 4 again .

Over coming Food

2010-05-13T10:45:00.000-07:00

How does one over come food you ask ?? Easy, you simply don't eat it! Here is how it works... We as the person in charge of our lives, and our mouths, simply do not eat it! I know it seems so hard but this is one lesson I am trying to continually teach my self. I am reminded that I buy the food, and that I am in control of what goes in and what goes out. If I buy cookies, I will eat cookies. If I buy fruit, I will eat fruit. Mind over matter... it really does work. Some how we have to find a way to trick our minds into thinking that we only need to eat to live... not live to eat!!

This is a constant battle for me. Sure I had bariatric surgery, sure I can only eat so much at one time, BUT and it is a BIG ONE... I still struggle with food! I still want to eat that extra piece of food but I cant cause I physically can't and I will get sick and I don't want to be uncomfortable, and it is not worth it to me.. ... That is the bottom line. I have worked so hard to go from a size 24 to a size 10 and I dont want to go back. So yes I settle for apple instead of cake, and... I am a happy camper..

Thanks to God only, Lord please remind me of self control. Thank you for letting me be able to have self control and the reminder that you are my strength , my help, and my guide. Praise to you only :)

Sharing my Journery with Options

2010-05-06T12:04:00.000-07:00

Wow !! I am so excited. Today I was asked if I would like to share my story with a Options Class at Kaiser. ( Options is the program Kaiser requires patients to go thru before surgery ) . So I am rather excited. I am really glad that I blogged my journey cause as I was going back to read it this last year, I have come a long way !! And.. I look Different !! I must pick the important things of being a bari patient... so many to chose from cause they all important.. I have 45 mins.. I think I can fit it all in.. what you thinK??? So Excited !!

Running !!

2010-05-03T22:50:00.000-07:00

Today Angie came over and she said on Mondays we would run together. So... as we were walking to the street I said to her... Angie wanna do the hill trail? She said sure, do you? At first I thought.... HECK NO!!! But then she said Come on, lets do it and try it. So we did and man ol man, that worked my butt hard!! I actually ran the whole incline hill . It is way different then being on the street and running at an even level. But I was motivated to push through the end of the trail, which by the way I am happy to say I accomplished :) I think it was about 2 miles!! So My goal is to run the trail at least two times a week and then once on the street. We are running the LA marathon , Lord willing next March . So we are training for it now. My goal is to run 4 miles by the end of June. I think I can do that, actually I know I can do that!! Thanks Angie for pushing me today, you were a great motivator!!

Happy Birthday to my Bestest Friend Ever!!

2010-04-25T22:27:00.000-07:00

My sister, my friend my partner in crime ... Happy birthday !!

Today was Marisa's 30th birthday surprise party! Boy was she surprised!! Poor Girl she actually was disapointed and thought that I forgot to plan something!! Well all turned out well. Lots of friends and family came out to help us Celebrate.. Here is to 30 Years my friend!! Love you!

Confidence

2010-04-20T20:15:00.000-07:00

I am soooooo amazed at how confident I feel. Let me explain.... I have always been a confident woman. I was always comfortable with who I was. But, and this is a big But... I have so much more confidence now, that it excites me. I feel that my new life has given me a different approach on life it self. I feel like I can conquer anything!! When I went into my first interview today, I was so determined to land that job, I think I blew the lady away!! She offered me the job on the spot!! I had another interview following that and this is the one I really wanted. Because of my confidence, my second interview went even better !! I did land the job, and so I will be working from home three days a week. I am excited about my new adventure. Life is so much different now. I have a whole new set of eyes , well and body!! My outlook is this: Life is too short to sit around and do nothing literally. For the past 12 years I sat inside cause I was too tired to go out and walk or jump or dance, I was too tired to take a stroll with my husband, or too tired to get out of bed and just enjoy the creation that God has placed in front of me. I am truly truly blessed that God allowed me to take this path and this journey to begin a "new" life! I am even more blessed that I have a supportive husband, friends and family that support me and this new life . I wish I could explain the joy that I have inside of me, the joy that God has placed in my life . The love and take that I have for life now is soooo much different. So I leave you with this....
Live , walk, dance, jump, sing, jump out of a plane..... but don't miss out of life cause it passes you right by. Then 12 years later you wake up and think... How did I get here???

Thank you Lord for this joy and new take on life that I have. Thank you for your strength and continued mercy and grace. I am nothing with out you , absolutely nothing.

Getting out there

2010-04-18T22:13:00.000-07:00

Well I told Mike today that I would like to build my business at home. So I started sending out my resume and guess what??? I got bites!! I have two interviews this week.. I pray they go well.

My job

2010-04-15T22:10:00.000-07:00

I was laid off today :( However I think it will be okay. I am going to try to pick up files on the side and work from home. I need to be very careful cause I know being home means being around food all day long. When I am at work I pack exactly what I am going to eat for the day. I usually pack protein of some sort chicken or tuna , string cheese and apple or grapes. I eat about every 3 hours to ensure that I don't ever get hungry . So plan is to do the same here.

Lord I pray for strength and guidance ..

WHOO WHOOO!!

2010-04-13T11:51:00.000-07:00

100 lbs Down !! Yeah I am so excited!! It seemed like forever to get here especially with my crazy past few months!! So this morning I got up to run and I ran 1.56 miles without stopping!! Then went home to shower and weighed my self and I am down!! I was soooo excited! I have 12 more pounds till I hit goal of 140!!! Wow !! I am so close I can taste it!! I am currently a size 10 and a size medium / large in clothes.. it varies. So Mike and I decided to bump up our routine. We are both running in the morning, seperate times and then we are going to run before our hikes now and then make sure we get in Raquet ball or some kind of fun. I really want to get down to size 9!! So wish me luck.

Thank you Lord.. for your guidance, your patience, your GRACE!! I could not ever and can not do it with out your strength!!!

A beautiful day

2010-04-08T22:20:00.000-07:00

Today we went hiking with Becky, Dom and the girls and the baby. We had lots of fun and it was a beautiful day to be out and about. I love how the girls enjoy life, I sat back and just watched as they ran so free in the trail , running and chasing after things with no fear. I want to be just like them!!

Mean time all is well here in my world. I am still excersising and trying to lose that last 2 lbs to hit my 100 goal mark from date of surgery. I am going to double my routine, I really need to stop talking about bumping up my run and do it!! My goal is to run 2 miles constantly by the end of the month.. Lord give me strength. Thank you for Life.. Only through you I am standing :)

JOIN MY BLOG!!

2010-03-26T13:07:00.000-07:00

Okay if you want to follow... click on the ride side of the screen where it says Follow and it will prompt you to the next step. Come and join me as I approach my year of Bari.. !! I think I gonna sky dive!!

Latest and Greatest!

2010-03-26T12:34:00.000-07:00

Well here is what has been going on in my crazy world. First off, things are back to normal . I am feeling great and my energy is back. I emotionally am doing well after the miscarriage and I am moving forward. We are back to excersising regularly and I am back to running. It feels great to be back and doing that stuff again. My goal is to run the marathon next year. Right now I can run a full mile without stopping. What an accomplishment. Meantime, we are staying busy with Outreach stuff, excersise, Worshipout and church. So yes.. we have a full scheudule. It is nice to be back though :) God is doing awesome things in our lives, sometimes we have to focus on the good and not the bad. Until next time :) Blessings !

Hiking!!

2010-03-19T17:45:00.000-07:00

Our Hike !

What a beautiful Day!! Too nice to stay in . So after work Mike and I went hiking!! Here are some picutures with our Furry son Charlie :) As we walked I was snapping pictures of God's nature. Wow!! So beautiful!! It amazes me that some people actually think all this was created by accident!! LOL.. Enjoy :)

Donations NEEDED !!

2010-03-17T14:12:00.000-07:00

HI,
It is that time again. Onelite will be in city of Pomona on April 3rd at Sharkies Park . We are in need of 1000 Easter baskets and volunteers. Please contact me if you can donate. Anything is appreciated. Cost of the basket is $5.00 . You can make your own from Dollar tree. Please let me know. God is moving :)

A night of Worship

2010-03-15T09:14:00.001-07:00

Last night we had a Worshipout gig in Pomona. It was great. I was reminded durning the service of how Great God is and that He is with us no matter what. I felt that the service was a time of resoration for me. I had been feeling like I could not worship.... I had been praying that God breakthrough that cause I did not want to feel that way. I felt like I was literally fighting my flesh. In the end I feel restored, cleansed and anew. One of my favorites is Blessed be the Name cause in that song we are reminded that no matter what, whether Walking through the Desert or when the sun Shinning down, we need to still Bless His Name. Just like Job did in the Bible. That man was stripped of everything and he still Praised God! WOW!! That blows me away!
Thank you Lord for Restoration, it is because of you!

Vacation !! ( Better late , then Never)

2010-03-12T12:50:00.000-08:00

A much needed Vacation in Lake Tahoe with Friends and Family. What a blessed time :)
March 8-12th, 2010

Vacation a time to rest

2010-03-08T11:38:00.001-08:00

Vacation is a time for rest and rejuvenation.. This week will be good .. We are doing good and handling things well. Thank you for prayers :)

Thursday the day of disaster!

2010-03-04T11:27:00.000-08:00

OH MY! If i did not have Jesus in my life, who knows what I would have done. Today my day started with heavy bleeding and cramping. Followed by a horrible dream of being trapped and then a horrible doctors appointment that I went to alone. I will never go to that Doc again. First I waited for 30 min in a room alone with tons of baby stuff around me, naked and trying to not get the bed dirty... Then when he came in he did an exam and gave me a picture of my empty womb! What the Heck!! So I went to work and when I got there I was greeted by a rude manager and was already upset and did not want to deal with him. I then went to my office and spilled my tea all over my desk, then there was no Internet access so I could not work. Mind you I have been out of the office all week and I need to work cause I am going on vacation next week. By the time the IT guy got there the Internet was working cause he did the same exact thing that I did which was unplug the Internet... Hello, I did that !!! I got a pedicure and then went home to cuddle up in my bed and cry!! It was such a horrible day and then It all hit me.. I am not pregnant anymore.. Doubt started to creep in and I started thinking. I refuse to let the Devil use this to rip me apart. I refuse to let him take my mind and my soul and I refuse to let him come in between me and my husband. I know that God is doing something big cause the Devil ain't happy about it. I know that my victory is coming. I just have to hold on. HOld on to the miracle that God is doing, Hold on cause my string that I was hanging on to is now a rope... I know it is coming.

So with all that... I am thankful that I have God to lean on cause I know and I pray for those that don't have that hope that I do. Lord please help them.. Thank you for being my strength..

Day to Day...

2010-03-02T11:17:00.000-08:00

Today is day two of staying home. I am still cramping and still have lots of pain but I feel better. My mom is coming today to stay with me. It will be nice to see her. I think we both need eachother right now. Michael has been awesome and I could not ask for anything more. He is the best husband ever.. thank you Lord for blessing me with a wonderful man..

Today was the day :(

2010-03-01T23:10:00.000-08:00

Today was the day I woke up with the worse cramps in my entire life!! It started last night. I knew this was coming , I could feel it all weekend. So Mike stayed home with me today. By 8:45 my cramps were so bad that I did not know what to do. Since I am a bari patient, the nurse had the doctor give me something I could take since I can not take Motrin or Ibprofin. I tried to avoid taking the meds they gave me which was Vicodin but the pain was to much. About half hour into the first pill my pain was subsiding. However it still was bad, so the nurse called and told me to take another one as prescribed. I did take that and my pain was limited and my body was numb. Let me tell you that is some good stuff!! The day consisted of Vicodin and heating pads and rest. By 3 pm I finally lost the baby.... I think at this point I did not know what to feel. I went on with the day and just let it be. My body is numb and my mind is crazy. I know this too will pass.. ..

A very bad Friday

2010-02-25T23:25:00.000-08:00

Today was the most emotional day of my life. I can't take this knowing that I am going to lose my baby. I know there is reason for everything but the anticipation of knowing drives me crazy!! I know this sounds awful but I really am praying that God does not let this linger on any more. .. Please Lord.. When I got home Mike said lets go.. We went to Disneyland and had a great date night and no reminders of what is happening. I love him..

Day by Day

2010-02-25T13:09:00.000-08:00

Today is a good day. Although I still have heartache, each day God is renewing my spirit. My life and future rests in his hands.
Today my devotion read this: " Pure Gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine. When Jesus wraps this all up, it's your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as evidence of his victory."- 1 Peter 1:7

How perfect. God knows exactly what I need to hear right now. I know that there is a plan , and I know it is hard to see, but I hanging in there. Lots of things going on in my head but God is moving and working. I can feel HIM and his presence. I have so much love and support and I am so greatful for. Yes it is still hard to be around others and especially the children that I so love so much, my heart breaks.. but I know my time is coming.

Last night I had a really tough time at the game with the kids, and so I started Journaling this.. maybe the start of a great Song...

Lord my heart crys out to you
Won't you come and make it new
Fill my void, cause it hurts so much
Come and fill my void

Lord my heart crys out to you
fill my cup oh Lord cause it needs to be renewed
Come restore my soul , come and make me whole

Cause I need you.... Oh Lord my heart needs You, Oh Lord my souls longs for you ...
Come and Make me New !!

Each day is a new one.. Until tomorrow..

REMINDER

2010-02-23T13:49:00.001-08:00

Although I am having some rough patches, a friendly reminder that Lord you are the strength of my life..Everyday I look to you, to be the Strength of my life . Your the hope I hold on to, to be the strength of my life.

Feelings

2010-02-23T13:29:00.000-08:00

Tears... Just when I feel like I have no more... they keep on coming ! Tears... they are bitter sweet! Tears..... they hurt my heart! Tears.... at the End are of JOY!! My miracle is coming and soon they will be of JOY , so until then..

Flowers

2010-02-23T11:22:00.000-08:00

Today was a bad day... but it got better . My husband sent me a dozen of Roses!! I know he is going thru this with me, and I know we are in this together. Now is just a matter of waiting for the day to come..

How Quickly things change

2010-02-22T21:43:00.000-08:00

Things change so quickly. My head is spinning and I have so much to say and so much that I want to say. Please excuse this post cause it is not the normal me..

Today we went back in to see the baby heartbeat. We were fully aware that there had to be a heartbeat and progression in my pregnancy. Bottom line is ultrasound showed neither. We met with the nurse and she told us that the baby had not grown and only my placenta had . I was totally devastated.. She said that there still showed no heartbeat which at 7 weeks and 2 days should. She said that my HGC levels were falling and that my body would be miscarrying this baby in a matter of time. MY Whole heart is hurting !! My whole heart! She quickly went over the procedures of what is to come and gave us some options. One to help the miscarriage with medication or to let my body just take the tole. Of course God knows that I am not comfortable with "ending my own pregnancy" , so at this point I am choosing to wait to let my body do it on its own. I have so many mixed emotions. I don't want to question God and his plan by any means, but at the same time, I just don't get it. Why? Why? To show me that Miracles do happen? To give me hope and show me that we can have kids? I just don't understand. My whole heart is aching and I am trying so hard to stay focused on God's plan and not mine. If I question Him and Blame him then I am saying that he is not a Good God and I know He is.... So I refuse to let the Devil play with my mind at this time! As much as it hurts I will continue to Stand Firm on God's promise to me. I will not look to the left or to the right. I will continue to look straight ahead at what is to come. God knows what I can handle.. He knows that I need this to go quickly. The next step right now is to get thru this pain and get thru the miscarriage. Once that has happened I can move forward to grieving . I wish I did not know what the outcome was going to be. Some how I wish that I just had not known. I don't know what is worse, knowing what is going to happen or not?
Now I want to eat!! EAT, EAT , EAT !! I want to eat a whole cake by myself. Unfortunately if I did I would get deathly sick and probably never eat cake again. Funny how I want to go back to food. I wish I had the energy to run, exercise or something, But I don't. My mind and body are tired and I just want this to go away! Mean time my husband has been amazing. I need to remember that we are in this together and that he is grieving as well. He told me yesterday that He is disappointed but not hopeless. He knows our time is coming and God has showed him a miracle. I am so blessed to have Michael by my side right now. He is my rock and my partner , my best friend.

So Lord Right now, I ask for Strength, Strength and Guideance. Renew my hope and my dream. Help me to remember you are in control , you know my future . Help me thru this next process.

God is SO SO AWESOME!!

2010-02-18T14:35:00.000-08:00

He just continues to Bless us !! Thank you Lord for your Faithfulness to your children. You are truly a God of promises !! Thank you Lord. Praise your NAME !!

Be Blessed and Rejoice in HIM my friends.. Cause HIS Promises ARE always TRUE !!

Managing my hunger

2010-02-17T12:08:00.000-08:00

Wow.. Being a bari patient and pregnant is a challenge. I am always so hungry! And the things I want are things that make me sick. Candy, sweets, bread, carbs.. I am trying so hard to control what goes in my mouth. Lots of water and lots of sugar free stuff. Also lots of apples, oranges and peanut butter. I love peanut butter! Lord please help me. I dont want to develope habit that I have changed. The other thing is that I am so tired I feel so lazy! I don't want to excersise or do anything I just want to sit on the couch. Mike of course won't let me , we are hiking and stuff but I do get tired..

Hallelujah There is a BABY!

2010-02-16T15:01:00.000-08:00

SO today was the big day. We went in two ultrasounds. The radiologist did her job and said that I will have to go back to OB and get my results. I was calm and Mike and I were together and we were ready and confident. We walked in and the nurse who I have been talking to her name is Elaine, She said " Well there is plenty more in the sac this week then there way last week"! Yeah !! I am soo relieved I don't even remember what she said after that ! She said that we have a yolk sac and a fetal pole and that I am around 6 weeks . She said it is too early to rule out twins since my levels are so high. My levels did not go up as much this weekend as she would like but she said that is not an issue cause I am progressing. She said that next Monday we need to do another ultrasound to see the baby heartbeat. She said that would definitely mean progression. I am not doubting ANYMORE ! I know God 's hand is on my little miracle and I know that there will be a heart beat next week. I told her that too!! Mike and I prayed as soon as we got in the car, Rejoicing and Thanking God for what He had done!!
Thank you Lord for the strength and patience with me . I am so greatful and need you to continue to be with me through this process.

Overwhelming Feeling

2010-02-14T11:59:00.000-08:00

I am so overwhelmed this weekend. I feel like so emotional. I need to keep trusting in God. He will bring us through no matter what happens. Mike and I said that if there is still nothing on this ultra sound then we will still wait .. No more testing, just wait.
Lord please give me your strength and comfort. I can't do this on my own.

More Levels

2010-02-11T12:30:00.000-08:00

Well today I tested my levels again. The nurse told me that they need to be in the high 38000. Well, they were not. They only went up 6000. I am so upset and scared. I have no idea what to think. I am praying so hard and I feel like my faith is nothing right now. I don't want to question God . I need to rely on Him and what He wants for His will, not mine. Mike is still standing firm and believing that everything is okay. He reminded me of all the times we have seen the doctors in regards to having children and each one has said , no , you cant have kids. Each test has come back negative and showing no hope. Mike reminded me that we Serve a God bigger than those tests. So I am going to trust and Believe. The nurse called this morning and said that she wants me to come in on Tuesday afternoon 2/16 for another Ultra sound and more blood to be sure that my pregnancy is progressing. She said we need to see a yolk sac and a fetal pole, Anything showing that there is somthing in there.
I am so beyond myself. I don't even know what to think. I am just praying. God you know my heart and you know my desire. I need your strength now more than ever. Lord please bring me peace and comfort to the situation..

Uh Oh !

2010-02-08T11:45:00.000-08:00

Today we went to see my OB for the first check up and to be sure that everything is progressing. Get into the room with the doctor and he does an Ultra sound and says there was no baby. I was like "what"?? What does that mean no baby.. No explanation just that there was a possibilty that I could be off on my dates but that I may miscarry. So I said okay, well what happens now? He said we are going to do a series of tests on you to be sure your pregnancy is progressing. So he scheduled me for blood work to test HGC levels. As soon as the doctor left the room, I fell apart. Here I am so excited to be pregnant and now it has all been ripped away from me and doubted started to creep in.. I know that I am not supposed to doubt my God and his powerful hand. I was just so scared. Mike immediatley said " Jess, it is fine. This is a miracle, it will be okay". S0 now we did blood and my HGC levels were at 22676. That is pretty high. The nurse called me and told me that on Wednesday we need my levels to double. So today and tomorrow I will be on pins and needles.. I need to trust God.

Was it a DREAM?/

2010-01-25T11:22:00.000-08:00

Okay so I woke up this morning thinking , it was a dream. Then I found the test and said Nope!! No dream:) Today we saw my doctor. He confirmed our pregnancy and now that makes 7 tests.. and he said I would be okay. My main concern was eating. Since I don't eat that much I wanted to be sure that the baby is getting enough. He said that yes I am fine and just to eat when I am hungry. So now , before when I was hungry I would ignore, now I have to eat something. The plan is to stick to my routine of excersise. However, I am so tired that I am dragging to do it. It is weird cause I have not felt like this in 7 months! So Now we are on a new journey. No sickness, thank goodness cause Lord knows I need all my food to stay down.. My first OB app is February 3rd... So far away!!

Unexpected Miracle!

2010-01-24T21:00:00.000-08:00

Where do I start!! Lots of catching up to do. First let me start off and say. My God is a God of miracles. He is clearly showing me that this week and throughout my new journey. This week we have been pushing our excersise routine hard. I was having a hard time not understanding why my weight was not dropping as quickly. I came to terms that I have lost 103lbs and that the rest of it will have to be worked off hard. So I was talking to Michael about how my body was feeling a little weird and that I should take a test just to be sure that I was not pregnant. Was not a big priority cause in the back of my head I just knew it would come out Negative. So we went about our weekend and today (Sunday) after church I came home and had a whole Orange. That my friends is big! I have never been able to eat a whole orange. So we invited our family over for a BBQ cause it was a nice day and we wanted to have chicken. Michael worked in the garage as I went to the market. As I was there I picked up a PG test so I could know for sure and then got what I needed ( including a bag of M&M's , peanut). I came home and took the test and left it there and went to the kitchen to finish my cooking. Well I totally forgot I peed on that stick and went back to clean up and see that it said Negative, and lo and behold it said in BIG Bold Letters... PREGNANT!! I freaked out , ran to the garage and yelled, "MICHAEL!! , THIS THING IS LYING AND SAYING WE ARE PREGNANT!! .. and then I proceeded to the bedroom in a paniced manner. He looked and followed and said well "CONGRATULATIONS!! " I said... wait we need to take another one cause what if this is wrong. So he said take it, but I could not pee right then and there so, we had to wait an hour!! Longest Hour EVER!! Took another one and the other one came out PREGNANT as well. WHOA!! Were we blown away!! Imediatlely I started thinking what if I am not eating enough or what if.. or what if.. or what if... I got scared. So we told our family and Silvia and my mom were both very excited! According to the calendar I will be due in September.

After along evening.. Mike said .." You know lets go get another test from another store and a whole other brand... " I said okay.. We took those three and sure enough, all 3 said I was pregnant! So I think 5 tests in one day is enough to say we are having a BABY!!!

Thank you Lord, for this miracle in our lives. When man said no, you said yes! Thank you God for this journey ... I am so greatful and love you more than words . You are truely a God of Miracles and I will not worry:) It is in your hands..
AMEN

Excersising my life away !

2010-01-20T12:12:00.000-08:00

So last night since it was raining Henry and Liv invited us to go on a guest pass to their gym with them. So I did. The gym is so different when you actually want to be there. LOL. So I wanted to make sure I got my run in which I did. I ran a mile, then I did a mile on the eliptical and then I did 2 miles on the bike. I felt awesome! I am really enjoying this excersise thing. I never thought I would say that.. Then last night after all that, I decided that I need to start trying to tighten my stomach up a little. So since I have the ab lounge that my aunt gave me I actually used it last night. I did 4 sets of 20 and oh my.. was I in pain at the last set but I pushed through. I am truely happy.. Thank you Lord for all that you are doing and showing me through this time :)

My Molly is Gone :(

2010-01-19T12:16:00.000-08:00

Still hard to believe. My black lab Molly has left us. She passed away last night at 10. We are still not sure what happened. She was sick from one day to the next. I prayed for her and with her and with my mom. I was really upset. I will miss her soo much. She was my friend, my hiking partner literally . When I could not make it up the hill, she came back for me.. I will truely miss her. It breaks my heart to think of her. I do believe that God allows us to have these friendships with our animals and I do believe that one day I will see her again. :) I Love you so much Molly. My aunt sent me this poem and it is so appropriate:

THE RAINBOW BRIDGE

There is a bridge connecting heaven and earth...it is called the rainbow bridge because of its many colors...just this side of the rainbow bridge there is a land of meadows, hills and valleys with lush grass.... when a beloved pet dies, the pet goes to this place, there is always food and water and warm spring weather...the old and frail animals are young again, those who are mained are made whole again... they play all day with each other.... there is only one thing missing... they are not with their special person who loved them on earth...so, each day they run and play until the day comes when one suddenly stops playing and looks up! the nose twitches! the ears are up! the eyes are staring! and this one suddenly runs from the group! you have been seen and when you and your special friend meet, you take him or her in your arms and embrace... your face is kissed again and again and again, and you look once more into the eyes of your trusting pet... then you cross the rain bow bridge together.... never again to be separated.

Author unknown

1.2 miles

2010-01-14T17:43:00.001-08:00

So today I told MIke that I wanted to try to run the full trail . He pushed me the last part of the mile and I wanted him to just be quiet !! But, I was praying all the way to the end and I did it!! I also cut 2 minutes off my time !! I was really glad and out of breath! I feel so awesome to run. I can not explain it. I feel like a whole different person! I am so greatful to God for this opportunity at a second chance :) Thank you Lord... You are my strength !

Running

2010-01-14T17:39:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I started running. Mike really pushed me. We ran total of 1 mile straight! OH My goodness I felt like I had been slammed into a bus this morning! I felt every muscle in my thighs, arms and calves. But I am determined to run the run trail. If you would have told me that Iwould be running. I would have laughed in your face.. LOL I will try again tomorrow. And I will be biking the pasadena marathon this year !! Yah !!

Frustrating

2010-01-11T11:46:00.000-08:00

When I initially decided on surgery, I chose to tell certain people and some not to. Last night I went to a dinner and was a tad bit bothered. One cause I think people think that because I had surgery that I live an easy life , that my weight is just falling off with out trying. Let me correct that thought. Yes my weight comes off , however I work it off as well. And it is by no means in anyway EASY! I have to work my butt off and exercises, I don't get to enjoy the things and the food that many people get to enjoy. I don't have control over what I can eat and what I can't. I am forced to do these things. It is in no way the "easy way out" . I know that it can be discouraging for some and a little frustrating but, this was a decision that I made to gain Self control back into my life. I am very grateful and very pleased with my decision to have the surgery. I in no way regret it. It has been a tool that I have used to the full extent. I exercise and I am active. Could I have done this on my own with out surgery? Probably, but I was unmotivated and just plain lazy. Again I had lacked self control. Once I lost 20 pounds I wanted to get out there and exercises cause I knew it would pay off. There are a lot of Bari patients who gain there weight back cause they don't eat the same way and they go back to habits. I have changed my habits and that is what it is about. Making a lifestyle change and doing it for me and my health. Not cause I want to "look" good but cause I want to FEEL good. I again could never ever do this on my own. I rely on the strength of God and by His strength only. I have to ask everyday for strength not to eat the other stuff. LOL .

I tried to quickly change the conversation last night and not focus so much on me, then as I was eating I felt weird too, But I guess it comes with the territory right?? Now I know why Valeria always said to have other topics to talk about at functions. I told mike last night, quick lets think of things to talk about before we get back to the table cause I don't want to talk about my surgery all night long .. He just laughed and hugged me.. :)

30th bday party!

2010-01-08T23:45:00.000-08:00

I have the greatest best friend in the world!! She hosted a wonderful get together for my 30th. Lots of fun and great food and great sugar free cake ! I am so blessed to have her in my life. I Thank God that I have another year of life to celebrate, even though I am 30!! New things are coming.... I can feel it :)

Turning 30 !

2010-01-06T11:31:00.000-08:00

So many mixed emotions about today ! One have finally turned 30. Two I feel amazing and three, well there is no three that I can think of ! I imagined that by the time I was 30 I would have this many children and be here and there. Well lo and behold , no children. But.. I feel that God has brought me to a new place of peace. As of right now I am grateful for what I do have. This past 6 months has been a new journey and I am ready and healthy now to conquer what comes my way. I am praying that I continue to be used by God and allow his will. I pray that children be our future :) God's promises are always true!!

Back to the Biking!

2010-01-04T11:23:00.000-08:00

New year means new Beginings. So today was the first Monday of the new year and we hopped right back on that bike! We had a few delays due to the holiday. I felt like we did not get much of any excersise in durning the holidays. But we are back on Track. Went to the beach today and road 12 miles. It felt soo good! I was so proud of myself. I am amazed at what I have accomplished so far. The one hill I had a hard time with before, I no longer struggle with! That alone is an accomplishment! I am ready for the marathon! Bring it on! 2010 watch out cause we are coming !! Blessings for the new year my friends!

New Year

2010-01-01T09:20:00.000-08:00

So new years was great. I survived all the food and all the candy. I feel as though I still ate too much. I am staying this week at 162. It goes up and down a pound or two daily. Which drives me crazy, but also keeps me accountable. I am excited for the new year and what it will bring. Maybe this year will be a year of great things and I also turn 30 this year. I have many things to be greatful for. Life, family, health and second chances ! Thank you Lord for Second Chances and for being a God of mercy and Love!

Survived the Tamale and HOliday

2009-12-26T08:09:00.000-08:00

Thank goodness it is over. Don't get me wrong. I love the Christmas season, but wow was it tough to survive eating wise. I think I did fairly well. No sickness which is always good and which means I did not push over the limit. I was very prepared though. Knowing that my family would have tamales, I voluenteered to make chicken Posole. One so that I would have something to eat besides tamales and two cause it is good. My cousin also made a wonderful sugar free dessert that is becoming a hit at our family functions. It is so good!! I am thankful that God sent his son on this day to show us His love. This Christmas was not about how much food I can consume at each place I go, instead it was about being together with the ones we love. I am so greatful to have learned that this year and I know I have sooo much more to learn. I am thankful for all the support of a great family and husband. Merry Christmas !

6 Months ago

2009-12-22T13:06:00.000-08:00

Today

6 months Ago

6 Months Ago

Today

6 months Ago

Today

6 months ago today, my whole life changed! At this time 6 months ago I was in Recovery of having Gastric Bypass. Wow did my whole life change. I never imagined that I would be 88 lbs down in 6 months. I never imagined that I would be climbing the hill behind my house, or taking a long walk just because, or riding our bikes 11 - 26 miles!! Never, ever in my wildest dreams did I think that. But .... it is true. I am so excited about my journey. It has been hard and very testing, but I draw my strength from my saviour Jesus. He is my strength and my encouragement, he has blessed me with a wonderful support husband, who is enjoying the new journey as well. Thank you to all who have supported me in this new journey. I am so thankful!

Overboard on the cheese cake

2009-12-19T22:35:00.000-08:00

What in the world was I thinking ??? let me explain... I sang at the christmas banquet today at the church. After we had dinner I wanted a cheese cake bite. No big deal right, sure If you have only one ! Nope.. I had half then I had another half and that half, wow was I sick. I had a bad cramping for an hour . I think I ate it way to fast and the sugar was too much. So I will not be eating cheese cake or bites anytime soon.

88lbs !

2009-12-18T09:23:00.000-08:00

I thought my weight was slowing down. There are days where I stay the same and then all of a sudden I just drop. It is funny cause if something does not fit me today, if I try it again in a week it fits. Today I weigh 164! Past my personal goal! I even fit into Becky's old jeans. I am truly blessed to be where I am and thankful for this new journey. I do need to get back to my excersise routine, cause my body and skin is starting to get well, you know saggy! I think it is mainly my arms and my legs, I did not realize that my legs were big, but I guess they were. Today my friend is coming to show me the bands so I can work out the legs and arms, I need to start toning now. And... I want to start running. Maybe for Christmas I can get some running shoes. We shall see.

Pushing threw the Holidays

2009-12-17T09:27:00.000-08:00

OH my goodness. It is so hard to stay away from all this holiday food! Cookies, cheese cake, candy. I try so hard to limit it to one bite and eat slowly so I do not pick at food. The bad thing is that I can snack now and I need to stay in control of that. The good thing is that I only take a few bites and I am full. I need to survive the holiday and then it will be okay. I have Christmas tamales that I am dreading. As much as I want to eat one, I will stick to my plan at christmas. Eat only the ham and turkey , stay clear of the tamales. LOL Funny huh ? I know it is funny for me to be avoiding tamales !! Planning is the key my friends, plan , plan away!

6th Month Post OP!

2009-12-15T21:16:00.000-08:00

Wow ! Today I had my 6th month appt. I can not believe that it is already been that long. I went it and alll my labs were good, however I need to be sure to get in 40 grams of protein in the morning. So I will be searching for a new protein drink. As much as I enjoy the drinks from Bariatriceating, they are so expensive and I will have to drink double. Doctor said all is good and I am doing great. I currently weigh 167 and he said I have around 37 more pounds to go and then I will be at goal weight. Funny thing is that my original goal was to stop at 165 and I am just about there! It is amazing to me to see how I am changing, my attitude has even changed. I use to be grumpy all the time cause I was always tired and although I was a confident woman, I was still miserable. It is so different now, I feel different. Although I am the same person, I feel like a new woman. All Glory goes to God, He is the reason that I am able to continue this journey. He is my strength daily. Thank you Lord, for self control ! With out you I am nothing !

3 hours to eat a tamale

2009-12-10T17:52:00.000-08:00

Okay , so today Erica brought in tamales, I had no idea how I would react to eating that, but I wanted to taste it so I did. Man oh man was it good ! I took very small bites . I started at 12 and took the last bite at 3!! I did not want to get sick so I took it slow, It was sooo good! That was my treat for the week, I dont think I will be eating those at christmas though, as much as I want to, I cant too filling !

84 lbs

2009-12-09T17:50:00.000-08:00

Today I have hit 84lbs. I also have hit another mile stone. I am now 167 and for the first time in a long time my period has come all by itself. That is an accomplishment.

New and Cheaper protein

2009-12-04T10:48:00.000-08:00

Okay so I love the protein drinks from Believe, however, they are so expensive! So I get them when I can, but this morning, I decided to try something new. I mixed my sugar free chai latte from international instant coffee and mixed in 1 spoonful of the juice it up protein and WOW !! it dissolved instantly! No taste and It is super thin just like the one I get online. So now I will be on the hunt for instant coffee to add protein! So excited !!

81 Pounds !

2009-12-04T09:45:00.000-08:00

Today I hit 81 lbs. I am weighing in at 171. My original goal was to be at 165 and stop, however, my new goal is to be at 140 which leaves me 31 more pounds. So next week it is time to get back to working out and work off the last 30! I still am amazed at my progress.

Frustration

2009-12-01T23:21:00.000-08:00

I am a little frustrated, first I have not excersised and I feel like I am slowing down again. I have been 79lbs down since last friday. I need to lose this last pound. My goal is 33 more pounds . That will put me at 140 and I think that is a great weight. I am right now a size 14 and I do feel like my pants are getting a little big, so that is a good thing. But i need to excersise !!

First Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T23:16:00.000-08:00

Well I have to say I was very prepared mentally for this day. I was very proud of my self and how I handled the day. First I helped out alot with the food and was able to fill that void. Then as we prayed and gathered around, I felt a little weird, but I prayed for strength. When it came down to serve ourselves I kind of waited for the line to go down and I served my self on a small cake plate, of course I felt weird but I enjoyed a little of this and a little of that. My cousin actually made me a sugar free dessert which was sooo delicious that I took some home ! After that I was full of course then we went to Angels house and we had a little bit of food there and hung out with family. Over all it was a great day and I was very proud of my accomplishment. We also had our very first Turkey bowl with the Alarcon's , so I did get my work out for the day ! Thank you Lord for LIfe, strength and Peace , I owe it to you ::)

Support Group meeting #1

2009-11-23T23:14:00.000-08:00

So today we had the support group meeting. We had a great time. We all talked about what we are going thru now and before. We also traded clothes which was nice for alot of us who do not have clothes cause we are shrinking. Everyone looks great and it was a nice time. We have a plan for thanksgiving and will be meeting soon :) Happy Thanksgiving !

Support Group

2009-11-22T22:52:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow I am holding my first Support group meeting at 7pm. I am excited to hear what has been going on with all the people from my class and how things are going with them. Lots of tips and lots of support. I pray that God will use me and I will be able to be an encouragement to this group. I pray that I can share God as my number one support :) Lord help me tomorrow, give me your strength and guidance....

What a Busy Week!

2009-11-21T21:50:00.000-08:00

Well it has been one busy week. A little sad cause I did not get much excersise in this week. However I still did things, like a lot of walking. But this coming week is Thanksgiving and I need, need, need to get some excersise in. I will try to this week. I am really thankful this year Lord for everything !

Kingsley Appartment Feeding

2009-11-21T16:54:00.000-08:00

Today we had a feeding at an apartment complex in Pomona. It was very cool, and small. God was very real today. It is always such a blessing to be apart of serving. Today I painted nails on a few little girls, and I met with a few young moms. I pray that God just continues to bring people into that complex and spread peace and love. I was so humbled and grateful again. These people were truly grateful. Thank you Lord for allowing Mike and I to be apart of your work and serving these people. Until next time !!

Disneyland 11/19/09

2009-11-19T22:36:00.000-08:00

Today we went to Disneyland. We gad a great time . I was a little nervous cause I did not want to go over board with the food. Thank goodness I had a plan. I packed snacks and almonds and jerky. It was a great idea cause it came in handy. I packed a lunch and I already knew what i was going to have for dinner. We enjoyed the rides and the kids and we did not spend tons of money on the less important stuff like Food !! At dinner we had turkey legs, man oh man was it good and tender. I had such a great time with the family and the kids. We need to go back soon !

77lbs

2009-11-18T22:47:00.000-08:00

Today I hit 77lbs !! At first I thought I plauted but then all of a sudden, I was down ! So here I am at 175!! Crazy ! My personal goal was to be at 165, however, I think I will go for 145. Thank you Lord for all of your strength Lord, Your Strength is what gets me through the day, week and hour !

Meeting for us Bari's

2009-11-13T10:57:00.000-08:00

Hi ! Okay so I feel that I am called to lead a support group for a while for us bari patients. My class is still filled with so many questions and not that I have the answers, but I feel like I can give them encouragement through this. I know it is hard before surgery and even harder after. So I want us to all have a support group. So if you are interested incoming, even if you have not had surgery, please come ! All are welcome, husbands, and family too ! I will let you know about the date.

One Addiction to Another

2009-11-13T10:28:00.000-08:00

OH NO !! I think I am addicted to Decafe Coffee ! Well at least it is decafe right?? WRONG !! I don't want to develop another addicting habit. I just got rid of one : ) But it is so good. I discovered Skinny Vanilla Latte , Help me Lord ! Maybe it can be my treat once a week :)

Symphony 6th Bday

2009-11-12T22:16:00.000-08:00

Wow how time flys ! I am so blessed to have two beautiful neices who I completly adore. Symohony is our oldest niece and she turned 6 yesterday. I am so amazed by her sweetness. We are so thankful to have these girls in our lives. We had a nice dinner at her favorite place Kishis then to Becks for a game. Could not imagine life without them :) Happy birthday Symphony Cheese :) Love you

74 lbs !

2009-11-12T06:25:00.000-08:00

So the other day I blogged that I thought I was in a plateau, well like I said everydat is different. As of today I dropped 2 more pounds. So I lost the one pound I gained and then lost two more. Hurray !! I am now weighing 178! By HIS strength only ! Thank you Lord

Be Encouraged !

2009-11-11T12:23:00.000-08:00

Be encouraged my friends, God is in control ! I know sometimes we get discouraged, but keep your head up. We have no control over what happens, only He does. I am so excited and looking forward to my new Thanksgiving. At first I was nervous, but now I am excited. first off cause I am in control of what I eat, and second cause I have planned over and over what i will eat and third cause with God's help all things are possible, it says so in the bible :)
So be encouraged, Love ya

8 Wonderful Years !!

2009-11-10T10:51:00.000-08:00

Where it all started !

Today marks our 8th Wedding anniversary! I am so blessed to have a supportive husband to walk beside me on this journey of Life. I am so blessed to be called his wife. I thank God every day for the life that He has given us. Sure we have our downs and our marriage is not perfect, but the difference is we have God in the middle! No matter what is thrown our way, we are sticking together , cause God is the cement that holds us together and what he has put together, NO man can pull apart. I love you Mike. Congrats to us both !!

Plateau !

2009-11-10T10:47:00.000-08:00

Okay so I weighed my self and I gained a pound ! from what?? i have no idea. That is kind of discouraging. So I road bikes last night and today we will walk as well. I know that they say you that the weight loss is like stairs, they go up and down. I just feel like I am at a stop. But who knows really I may drop 5 pounds next week. We shall see. I won't be discouraged, instead I will step it up and move forward. Hey 71lbs is still 71lbs lighter. I feel great, I am strong and I am healthy! So I will move forward. I also need to watch my snacking. I think I am snacking too much, I think ! Lord please help me, I don't want to develope old habits. Thank you for your strength ..

Coffee and Potassium equals NO BUENO

2009-11-06T08:44:00.000-08:00

I tried to have coffee today with my potassium in it. OH MY!! I had the dumping! Never before had I experienced that. I did. So, I will not be having that again. I will stick to potassium with crystal light or juice.

Feeling my new stomach, litterally

2009-11-05T08:41:00.000-08:00

So at night when I lay down, I can feel all sorts of weird things in my body. Thing that i have never felt before. One of them is my new stomach. Yes, I can feel my new stomach. It is so weird. At first i got scared then I realized after I ate I could feel pressure under my bra so I started feeling around and felt it. If you feel around it it feels exactly like a small egg. Good thing is that if i eat too much my bra adds pressure so I stop eating. But yeah I can feel my new stomach.

72 lbs

2009-11-05T08:39:00.000-08:00

Today I hit 72lbs. Feels a little more slower, but still moving. I am offically smaller than what I got married.. Wow that means if i put on my wedding dress, it may be BIG !!!

New size means shopping

2009-11-04T21:06:00.000-08:00

So, My boss gave me a gift card for Kohls. I have never ever shopped there before for me cause the cute clothes never fit. So I walked in and I went the junior section and started looking at the size Large shirts. Well everything was on clearance up to 80% off so I picked a few and headed for the dreadful dressing room. Low and behold they fit ! A large Fit! I was so excited, I picked up 6 shirts for 5 bucks a piece and a pair of pants. The funny thing is that I still dont believe that I should be shopping in that section. So I went to the big section. Something in my mind still said that I needed to , so I went picked up a pair of pants and tried them on, and they were too big. After a few times of this, I was convinced that I don't really belong in this section anymore. It is sooooo weird. So that was my new shopping experience in the Junior section. I am officially a size 14. Still fitting a bit weird, but that is the size. Thank you Lord for all of this. I am overwhelmed that you have guided me through this journey. Thank you for selfcontrol, and teaching me all over again. It is by your strength only !

So sore

2009-11-03T19:07:00.000-08:00

Oh my... my butt hurts so bad! Raquet ball litterally kicked it. My thighs and legs hurt from running. But we went again today . Pushing and pushing is the key. Hopefully in a few weeks, I will be running circles around MIke..

Raquetball

2009-11-02T19:05:00.000-08:00

Okay so today we played Raquetball . Man, I was sore. Mike showed no mercy. He wanted me to move so I did. Wow that game really involves running. But I am getting better at it. Practice makes perfect. I think we are going to start playing on Tuesdays.

just some pictures

2009-10-30T23:15:00.000-07:00

Picture of us and all the children at the Pumpkin patch. We had a great time !

70lbs!

2009-10-29T15:12:00.000-07:00

Today I have hit my 70lbs. Very exciting. I have also reached a new size. I am in a size 14 now. I have not been in a 14 for a very long time. I can not even remember the last time I was. I feel great. I still feel big, although I am changing I still feel big. It is weird to me. I hear people all the time telling me how different I look and that they can not reconize me, but it is hard to believe. I feel like I look the same. I am trying to grasp that I am not the same size.
Not by my strength but by HIS only.

My hips

2009-10-23T22:37:00.000-07:00

Last night I was lying in bed on my back and I felt my hips for the first time in a long time. I actually could feel my hip bone. I was like Whoa!! I think my weight is slowing down, but I do feel my clothes getting bigger, but the scale does not change much. This week I have lost 1 more pound but it can change tomorrow. Sometimes I stay at one for a long time then I just drop... That is all for today.. I feel good.